Am I a Helicopter Mom?
I just want to protect my boy, Papi
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¡Hola Papi!
I’m writing to you because I need some guidance. My son recently told me that he’s dating, and it sounds like he really likes the young man he told me about. I think this person might be the first person my son has ever really liked, and that makes me super protective because I don't want him to get hurt.
What is the best way that I can support my son while squashing my overprotective impulse to warn him about things that haven't even happened yet? I’m afraid that if I don't keep my mouth shut, I will make him paranoid and not allow him to enjoy his life. My son is 29 years old, by the way, and he is such a warm, sincere, funny, thoughtful person that I can't stand the thought of anyone hurting him.
Signed,
Helicopter Mom
Hey there, HM!
First, I find it endearing that you’re so invested in your adult son’s wellbeing. I know some gay guys who would love it if their mom took an interest in their lives and relationships like that!
I also totally relate to the maternal instinct to protect your kids from the horrors of this world. My ongoing situationship involves a man with two cats at home, and I think of them sometimes and worry about them wiggling through a crack in the window. They are too spoiled to survive the streets. This is exactly what being a mother is like, I’m sure.
But your son is 29 years old. If he somehow hasn’t yet learned about the risks involved with adult dating, and the additional risks involved with adult gay dating (God please walk beside him through the valley of unsolicited hole pics), then now is the perfect time to learn.