Printing this out because I will need to reread it in the months ahead. We are grieving, and in grief it is alternately comforting and an outrage that the ordinary world goes on around us. Where I live, the innocent tranquility is surreal. Fuck you, peak foliage of New England!
Jendi, I feel this. Everything going on as scheduled yesterday felt utterly insulting. Yes, how are the trains still running? The trees still popping off? The baristas still slinging lattes. How?
Papi, you don’t know me, but I want so much good for you. I want the same for my adult son. We were talking and he mentioned that a lot of gay people are just depressed, like it’s normal for gay people. That makes me sad. He’s a thoughtful and edifying person even though he made that remark. All people find themselves clinging to others, similar to your clinging to the love interest in your piece. Everyone gets depressed at times. We cling to people trying to find rest for our souls, to find the love that we want but can never feel, at least for long. Especially in these days. I know the answer. It’s Psalm 62. Only in God is my soul at rest…the problem is that I KNOW this, but I can’t FEEL Him. At least not right now. HUGS, Papi.
"the sound of the world betraying you by lumbering on" lovely
Printing this out because I will need to reread it in the months ahead. We are grieving, and in grief it is alternately comforting and an outrage that the ordinary world goes on around us. Where I live, the innocent tranquility is surreal. Fuck you, peak foliage of New England!
Jendi, I feel this. Everything going on as scheduled yesterday felt utterly insulting. Yes, how are the trains still running? The trees still popping off? The baristas still slinging lattes. How?
"(how frustrating, there never seems to be a clean, unifying significance to anything)"
oh my. this caught me
Papi, you are not small. Your writing brings me to tears this rainy Notth Texas afternoon.
No one lands melancholy and worry [without nihilistic despair] quite like you
Papi, you don’t know me, but I want so much good for you. I want the same for my adult son. We were talking and he mentioned that a lot of gay people are just depressed, like it’s normal for gay people. That makes me sad. He’s a thoughtful and edifying person even though he made that remark. All people find themselves clinging to others, similar to your clinging to the love interest in your piece. Everyone gets depressed at times. We cling to people trying to find rest for our souls, to find the love that we want but can never feel, at least for long. Especially in these days. I know the answer. It’s Psalm 62. Only in God is my soul at rest…the problem is that I KNOW this, but I can’t FEEL Him. At least not right now. HUGS, Papi.
i rode the M train this morning, also from Seneca :) time is a flat circle. this was beautiful, thank you <3
Whew, yeah. I needed this. Thanks <3
thank you so much for this
I really needed this today. Thank you!
Lovely
this is so good