Weapons (2025): Firing Blanks
I wrote an actual review for once.
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I get why someone would walk into Weapons expecting a profound message. It’s a movie titled Weapons in which a classroom of seventeen third-graders disappear. 1 + 1 = this movie will be about school shootings in some way. Imagine releasing Jaws in a country where fatal shark attacks occur semi-regularly and there’s also a powerful shark lobby promoting the idea that every family should have at least one oceanic whitetip in their home. On top of that, we’ve been primed to expect a certain cleverness out of horror movies these days, movies that promise to make you go hmm after you’ve wet yourself.
I’m not saying Weapons had an obligation to say something about gun violence in American schools, only that I understand why some would expect it. What I understand a bit less is people walking out of Weapons and deciding that in fact the movie did make such a statement. One of the more interesting things about Weapons, to me, is that it doesn’t really have anything to say on the subject. In an America consumed with both justified concerns and kooky paranoia1 about child safety, it’s kind of radical of writer-director Zach Cregger to release Weapons, an out-and-out thrill ride that merely uses those anxieties as gasoline.
Anyone looking for a cerebral exercise will find that Weapons’ primary allegiance is to the amygdala. It jerks its audience around with jump scares. It’s a masterclass in suspense (watching it reminded me of being in film class, being shown virtuosic examples of technique). When it ended, it felt like being released from a rollercoaster by a lap-bar. I felt like my hair was all over the place. This may surprise some to hear, but Weapons is first and foremost a horror movie. My nervous system thoroughly enjoyed, and thus recommends, Weapons.
Still, I can’t help but feel let down with where the film landed. The first 70% of the movie felt like watching an all-timer, but I left the theater feeling underfed in some way. I’m curious about this. Did I in fact want Weapons to “say something” after all? Or was my disappointment located elsewhere?
Spoilers below for Weapons.